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Sunday, May 20, 2018

[DISCUSSION] Why I'm never fucking a praetorian guard again


Alright. allow me to set the forum, I’m in my domus ready for the ride of a lifetime. We’re making out, taking togas off, things are moving fast when all of a sudden I hear a, “gimme a secundus.” This plebeian moves me off of him and carefully unlaces his "Valentino Garavani Tiresole" as I stand there, butt-ass naked. I’m generally a patient person, I give him tempus, and after what feels like an eternity he gently places his sandals to the side, so I assume we’re good to go. I go to take his toga off and he says, “This is gonna take a while, you’re not gonna be able to get this off.” My plebeian has got on a piece of distressed kith toga and he begins to carefully slide the tapered bottoms over his heels, being extremely careful as to not stretch out the already existing holes. At this point my reserves are beginning to dry up, if this process had lasted any longer I would’ve showed him the ostium.So as a small piece of advice to all of you plebs: please wear slip ons and tunics when heading over to your girl’s house from now on. Oh, and fuck you Augustus. via /r/streetwear https://ift.tt/2Lb7Svv

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